JCwire Washington, D.C.

Satire: “fake news inspired by real events”

Today President Trump signed an Executive Order nullifying the fiduciary duty of Legislative and Executive branches of government to act in the best interests of their constituents. “This is just more governmental red tape interfering with our plans to move this country forward,” said Sean Spicer, the White House Press Secretary. “With this out of the way, we will unleash the economic engines of Capitalism that will make this country great again.”

Asked whether such a stance conflicted with the principles of democracy established in the Constitution, Spicer replied, “Look, Democracy just says the majority of people can elect their leaders. The Constitution says a minority can elect them, if they get enough electoral college votes. Once elected either way, leaders can’t be hampered with opinions on what’s best for some people, what’s best for others. Who’s to say? We just have to pick a course, charge headlong, and hope for the best.”

Reporters questioned how this new position would be implemented. “In effect, Congress has ignored the fiduciary rule for years. We’re just making existing policy official,” Spicer concluded. “And adding the Presidency, so that the branches of government are equal and in check with each other, plundering-wise.”

Waving off the dozens of hands in the air, the Press Secretary said, “This is the New America. If constituents want to better themselves, they are free to run for office themselves. Everybody has a chance to take advantage of everybody else. It’s called competition. End of press session.”

Later, President Trump commented via a Twitter post. “Good job Sean. Congressmen make money from legislation, why not President profit on entrepreneurial initiative. So much red tape; sadd. Smaller government, more opportunity for new American barons. Power to the powerful, so we can do great for America.  Voters will be paid later – if they do a good job in 2020.”