Every time we experience another gun-related tragedy, our national debate fails to find a simple answer. For the problem itself is anything but simple, layered in the complex psychology of the American mindset and history. The answer lies not in regulation or treatment of the mentally ill. The truth is, we are a violent nation.

At each instance, our debate about gun legislation misses the essential point. It’s not about a constitutional amendment or mental instability. We Americans are too quick to anger, too ready to raise a sword, or take umbrage at a perceived slight. We draw a weapon to win an argument or end a lingering depression. For us, guns are a sign of strength and resolve; negotiation and mediation are weakness.

This psychology exhibits itself in the micro and macro of our American identity, from personal altercation to international policy. Feel threatened by a person or a situation? Buy a Smith & Wesson. Don’t like the way Saddam disrespects us? Send an army halfway around the world to take him out, regardless of the pretext of non-existent Al Queda affiliation and WMDs.

We want John Wayne for President, despite the fact that his fictional character does not serve the reality of our time. We feel the reach of Tom Cruise in an F-14, the valor of a dozen Rambos on the big screen. A gun is the personal extension of the armed power of an aircraft carrier. Nobody’s gonna mess with us!

Afraid that some terrorist group might arise in a far-flung country? America sends in the military, or advisers with billions of dollars in “aid” for a repressive, corrupt, but “stable” government. How far will our fear reach? Why do we believe we can neutralize any threat in the world, anywhere in the world? How did we become so imperiously delusional?

With our success in the Second World War. The worship of the gun throughout our westward colonization of North America extended internationally as we emerged the last nation standing in 1945. We have exerted our power ever since. In the last ten years alone, we have spent almost $8 trillion on defense. Our annual defense spending of nearly $600 billion is more than half of all government discretionary spending, about $2,000 per man, woman and child. Britain and France spend at less than half that rate to defend their citizens; Germany, one quarter. US military spending eclipses that of the next nine countries combined.

Russia may be coming along as a distant second at less than a quarter of our spending. But the current day Russia is a thugery undeserving of emulation. We rightly complain that their recent entry into the Syrian mess is “pouring gas on the fire.” But what have we been doing for decades in the volatile insanity of the Middle East? How much of the $1.5 trillion we spent on two wars is still there as enduring weaponry to fan the flames?

The data is stark and incontestable: America is far and away the most violent country in the developed world. Others have taken steps to reduce their violent death rate and succeeded. We chose not to.

Or perhaps someone chooses for us: a puppeteer singing a chorus to our citizens, pulling the strings of our elected officials, maximizing profit and shareholder value. For we Americans have lost our way. Hypnotized by the wizardry of modern weapons, entranced by the media of machine gun heroes, we cheer as the puppeteer prods us. We vote for the compromised lawmakers in our national charade, shouting, “We are Number One!” And it’s true, within and without: we own more guns per capita and are far and away the largest exporter of arms in the world. All the while, we pad the wallets of corporate managers and investors in the macho world of arms.

On the home front, Americans own somewhere between 90 – 110 guns for every 100 people. At a minimum, that’s 270 million guns in our cars, cabinets and closets. These account for 10,000 homicides and twice as many suicides every year. Clearly, we like guns and the sense of power they provide us. We don’t like to think about the civilians who die in the crossfire.

Fear further complicates our emotions. Afraid of a bump in the night? Have an automatic weapon at your bedside, in the drawer next to the love potions. In your response to the perceived rapist or burglar, you might shoot your kid, or your drunken husband. Strangely, that’s a price we accept every year for our safety – even in a country where more people are already incarcerated than anywhere else. Why do we put up with this bloodshed?

Because we have come to consider it “normal” – regrettable perhaps, but necessary to ensure our freedom and security. In truth, conscientious voting is more effective at preserving our freedom, and pepper spray can maintain our personal security. What kind of “normal” country have we created?

Of course, this aggressive culture has a collateral side: people die. Lots of people – far more than anywhere else except active war zones. Sometimes this is due to the front-page incidents of an unstable man with a cache of automatic weapons. These instances are readily deflected by focusing on the mental instability of people who may previously have ranted in the town square and been done with it – but for the availability of high load automatic weapons for sale at a store near you. By the numbers, mass murder isn’t really the problem.

Back it down a bit from mentally unstable to temporarily depressed and we find the true cost of gun culture. Over half of all gun deaths each year are attributable to suicides – twice the loss as from homicides. Yet suicide has flexible alternatives. A soul crying out in pain might be heard if he overdosed on drugs or jumped off a bridge. These are not always fatal and can result in long-term recovery. But the sinister trigger of steel, so easy to squeeze, leaves no life to save when the bullet tears a hole in the brain.

The Second Amendment clouds the issue in Revolutionary Era patriotism, for the time of a local militia taking back the government is long past. Political rhetoric is often just a paid advertisement by for-profit defense contractors and gun manufacturers, referred to by President Eisenhower as the “military industrial complex.” Every time a man shouts for his “right to bear arms,” this group receives assurance that the flow of dollars will continue carte blanche.

What if we canceled the orders for more jets and carriers, rifles and tanks? What if we let our military men and women truly defend our shores instead of those so distant? What if we let the National Guard pull citizens from floodwaters instead of dead buddies from the burning sands of a third tour of duty?

For a few billion dollars from our defense budget, we could generate worldwide goodwill by providing clean drinking water to everyone on the planet. A few billion more would eradicate diseases and increase the health of the world’s population. But where is the feeling of power in that weak side of mediation and compromise? The heft of a gun, the targeting of a missile win out.

It is time to turn our swords into tools for the field, our scientists into creators of productive advances into medicine, communication, education. Time to lead the world by shared contribution rather than the threat of destruction. It is time to lay down our arms and our anger, trusting that we can create a more peaceful culture, country, and world.

It’s not too late.